Little Donald liked to play Geppetto the puppet with a little sock toy his mommy had given him before he could remember when.
Geppetto had never been inside the fell Hall of the Ancients before, but it was not for a lack of trying.
Little Donald had Geppetto try carving and chopping and chopping and carving with imaginary chisels and hammers and other pounding and cutting tools, trying to get the immense doors to budge just one small crack, trying to get some sort of leverage, but budge the timeworn wooden doors would not.
Yet he knew the mythical router was inside, and he must reach it! He had secretly assigned Geppetto the task.
It was important. He didn’t know how. He didn’t know what it was, but he knew it was serious because his father screamed about it, yelled long and hard, many, many times, angry about shit-eating router.
It was an evil resident in the heart of his kingdom.
Ever since he had awoken this morning and shown Geppetto the holy sigil of the magic words blazing across the ceiling above his bed, he knew today must be the day to get into the Hall:
Hello Donald,
Your prediction for Tuesday, Mar 7, 2017 is:
Don’t let resistance dissuade you today. Your ability to break through is excellent, but try to keep damage to reasonable levels and make sure that your decisions are right. When in doubt, continue. There is merit, if no appreciation, in work-related matters. Yet you still seem troubled by lies. Stay true and steadfast. Avoid tempestuous northerly winds.
Ever since, Geppetto had been working on the doors to the Hall. Hammering and chiseling, whittling and pounding with mallets and axes and adzes. Filing and chipping and burning to no avail.
Little Donald knew he wasn’t supposed to go into that closet, but it was Geppetto trying to break in, not him, and not into a closet forbidden by his father, but into the Hall of the Ancients.
Geppetto picked up his trusty plane tool—in reality a playing card with mommy naked the back that had fallen behind into the cushions of the big couch in their smaller living room—and reached as high as he could as he slid it up the crack in the door right near the knob.
And then the door popped open!
Geppetto and Little Donald both paused before the open Hall. They looked at each other in surprise, a little fear curling around both of their bellies, but then they grinned.
The Hall was open! They could get to the magic router.
So they gingerly stepped inside.