Monthly Archive: July 2016

downtown shootings

excuse me
i’m still a bit stunned

there were a couple shootings
a few blocks from where I live
just hours ago

guns fired into a crowd
women hit
hospitalized
one dead

sound familiar?

it was two separate young male shooters
a few blocks from each other
not cops
not AT cops
not Muslims
not religious
no particular color issues

bars just let out
and then BANG

people aren’t always pleasant
hell, I’m not always pleasant
even to myself

but let’s face it
the words and the feelings
feel pretty damn crappy sometimes
situations sometimes suck

but guns make it worse
bombs make it worse
knives make it worse
fists don’t help
when conflict ramps up

and it seems to be
ramping up everywhere

this morning it was my town
my block

tomorrow
guess where it will happen

the last gasps
of a flailing society
that can’t even admit it

legalize guns
motherfuckers
and arrest kids
for getting stoned?

what did you THINK would happen
Nancy Sinatra would start singing
bang bang, that awful sound”?
and we’d all go on our merry ways
abiding

there is no more hiding
from this
no just shaking our heads
over some Gotham weirdness

this is happening all over
in fucking Norway
Germany
France
in my own god damned town
Austin, Texas
just now

it’ll be cleaned up
it’ll be forgotten
but not really

local news will
try to digest the craziness
for all to see
interview all the weeping survivors

he was a good neighbor
she had just started out school
he seemed like such a loner

and then like whack a mole
in a few days
more breaking news
somewhere else

until we’re all
all the livelong day
wondering
what will be next?

persist or prevail

my sister she asked me
about her device
I rolled up my eyes
but I’ve now fixed it twice

so I know that comeuppance
will soon take its toll
I am quite a grumpus
yet I’m on a roll

I merely persist
while sparking the nail
yet I don’t have a plan
in case that I fail

it’s time yet again
to un-misconceive
to get back to work
and roll up my sleeves

the youngsters today
are a beautiful bunch
but they don’t seem much use
when it comes to a crunch

are others now out there
whom I could enlist
in the ongoing toil
to prevail or persist?

remember us when
you’re feeling dismayed
if you need some more help
and we come to your aid

we’ll resist all your woe
and forego all the patter
and persist, but prevail
that’s a whole ‘nother matter

searching for forever

my journey began some years ago
these days it seems farther than I can remember
yet clearer than I can afford

even as I moved through and beyond
my own simple yearnings
I could not help all the souls I knew
or leave them behind

yet all of our goals
renewed in time
and I for one
finally left those that I had
well out of mind

until it came time
to hold to the one
who brightens my day
despite
what my learned colleagues say

because my essence uncurls
as the bright one unfurls
and I drop out of the dream
and all that it seems

to break the laws
and do the time
or change the cause
and go sublime

had I a long enough lever
dipping down into the ground
and a firm enough place to stand
I might even move all that I know
with my hand

at least until I hear the song
I remember
searching at long last
for forever

prolly

in the beginning
prolly have to take it on faith

that there is a cloud of voices calling
some swaying
some singing
some terrified
some clinging

that follows humanity around
a dirty duster cloud of separate voices
mixing it up and swirling
competing for time and attention

and all the while there is
always already one clear voice
that never changes
that keeps on calling
the same ever-fresh tune
that bursts the minutes open wide

it’s the same song
that brought you and me here

in the beginning
prolly had to take it on faith

but by now
and every other now
that could or ever did or would exist
we prolly should finally know

that one voice will always be
singing the love it knows it frees
to the winds and the rows and rows
of countless blossoming and wilting trees

and all that we can ever
and would ever be

prolly have to surrender
everything we know
or could ever know

right now
to be free

our birthright

we know you are watching
that’s why it’s so relaxing
knowing you are there
taking it all in, as if it were real
it just kinda makes everything better

we have to wait now to get home to see
since you seem to have gone dark
but for some reason the memory of your voice
regaling us of glorious times passed
it still really relaxes us
it just kinda makes everything better

you were so primed for conspiracies
we needed open enrollment time
to come in for some buttered popcorn
and to get all set up
before the ships leave for the last time
it just kinda makes everything better

we just got our tickets
they said after ours there were none left
except for one they were reserving for someone special
someone really old
it’s got your name on it
written in golden lettering
it just kinda makes everything better

we’ll shoot for being there around five-ish
give or take
we’ll wheel our final bags to the transport
glance one last time at our home
and then board
all the while knowing
you are still watching
it just kinda makes everything better

from one place to another

chou got something to drink in there?
i been moving things from one place to another
all day now
an i’m thirsty as a goat

those little cinderblocks that hold up
my shoulders
are starting to droop and sweat
an the blood that my mama gave me
is pooling in my head

i wasn’t raised to fight
i was brought up to consume
hell, when i was a little bitty kid
i wanted to eat the moon

raspberry flavored sweet milk
crunching captain kirk and doctor spock
all i knew was what the tv told us young
duck and cover all as one

you know it’s all changing now
chou watch the news?
man, it’s crazy all over
there ain’t no out there anymore

the world doesn’t stop
all the jefes won’t let up
they’re sucking everything out
like there’s about to be nothing left

from one place to another
just like me
just like all of us

my break is over
it’s time to get back to work
chou know?

waste it to taste it

waste it to taste it
abandon embrace it
never knew how very few
have ever really faced it

haste doesn’t waste it
at least they’ve never traced it

take a clue
from what you do
just before you space it

no where to place it
you still must embrace it

surrender death
upon your breath
be willing to replace it

can you feel it coming?

the big boom
fortuitous
the city that bloomed

it’ll make 9/11 look like
a walk in the park

you can feel it coming
peering into the news
about the heat
and the killings
and the war
and the babies
and the drugs
and the bugs
and the guns
and the money

your attention is being sucked
by every sordid detail
to invoke a conflict response
whether you care to or not

you can feel it coming

all your life
you’ve dreamt about it already
nagging at you in the background
like a dusty mural on a forgotten wall
never looked at closely

different probabilities:
a large bomb falling gracefully as you look up
an abandoned suitcase left on a train
a young child wearing a green camouflaged vest

L.A. maybe 15 percent
Tel Aviv 30
London 20
New York 34
or maybe some small, Podunk town
where you are now, 1 percent

in the end
it will wake us all up
as a whole
to our true responsibilities

but until then
its future manifestation
hangs over all of us
as if waiting
eking in to our cells
as our selves ready
to accommodate the future

you can feel it coming

we’ve already made our decision
which is why
you’re not more disturbed by the
violence and hate and fear
ramping up along with the weather

and the powerlessness
of individuals provoking
what seem to be insane actions
but are really just ways to prepare us
for the almost unimaginable

we were given ample opportunity
to choose a different path
but we haven’t yet

and it will be time soon

you can feel it coming
it’s almost already here

oh well

once embraced
the distant taste
of well, the very well may be
the last thing that you’ll ever see
and what alone will set you free

living life as song or tone
oh well, you lived that life alone
in wells resounding, they belong
to distant kingdoms of their own

taste the seashore as you breathe
and swell your belly with the breeze
a well developed sense of ease
your own embrace will set you free

your doppel gänger’s on the way
oh well, I’ve overstayed my stay
we’ll meet again along the way
to fill the well we sang today

popcorn

popcorn is the food of kings
and fools and dogs and underlings

she broke her tooth but cleansed my soul
though cleansing then was not my goal
(I didn’t know that back then though)

she held her breath and cried her woe
as I sucked her little toe

the corn was popping in the pot
the oil had gotten mighty hot

I sucked and licked my hungry lips
hearing all that butter drip

she gasped aloud, twas not her fault
I prepped the garlic and the salt

the yellow yeast was ready too
to shake upon the tasty chew

she turned around and grabbed my head
upon the corn we’d soon be fed

her shrieks of joy I didn’t scorn
waiting on that kerneled corn

a scooper full, my only measure
took her deep toward fuller pleasure

then I heard the last full pop
as she cried out: please don’t stop!

I couldn’t leave her as she yearned
or let the popcorn start to burn

but as her pearl began to pop
I poured the bowl right to the top

and shook the garlic, salt, and yeast
while she howled out like a beast

we’re sitting now after the fact
pillows propped behind our backs

trading hunger for the truth
she strokes my hand to soothe her tooth